Navigating romantic relationships in the dorm room

When you’re living in a residence hall for the school year, romantic relationships are bound to form. Here’s how to navigate those especially intimate  relationships while inhabiting a dorm room.

RESPECT EACH OTHER’S SPACE (as well as their roommates)

It’s so nice having the ability to see your partner so effortlessly – especially if they’re only a hallway over, or if you’re in a co-ed wing just a couple of rooms away. However, it’s important to remember that  each of you is your own individual. Always make sure to communicate clearly and regularly about each other’s schedules and any ground rules (e.g. appropriate times to be in each other’s rooms, boundaries, etc) you each may have.

Speaking of ground rules, let’s talk about roommates. Unless you or your sweetheart seriously lucked out and managed to score a single dorm room for the year, there will be other people cohabitating with you. So, don’t forget to also take each other’s roommates into consideration and remember that they are sharing their space with you, too. Do not come over unannounced or overstay your welcome. It’s always a plus to build a rapport with their roommate. Lastly, if their roommate is there and your partner is not, do not make yourself at home while you wait for your partner unless it has been explicitly approved by both parties (your partner and their roommate).

DOING THE DEED

Since you’re sharing your space with other students, privacy in the residence halls is a precious commodity, to say the least. For example, if you and your partner decide to get intimate, it’s best to inform your roommate that you want the room for yourself. Or, you could always book a hotel room for the night.

As thrilling and exciting as it all sounds, having a “party” with your partner in the public spaces of your dormitory can lead to disciplinary action and/or unnecessary resentment from other students. Again, remember that it is a shared space, and others might not be too keen on or comfortable with said action.

LETTING YOUR RA KNOW

It’s not one of those things where you are obligated to immediately go out of your way to inform your RA.It’s more like a due diligence type of thing – if that makes sense. Your RA’s  job is not only to be a guide and mentor for the students in their wing, but to the entire building as well. That means understanding the types of relationships people have in the building to best serve their role. 

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